Me.Myself.and.Child

Posts tagged baby mama

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What’s the Big Deal About Child Support?

Even the words “child support” seem dark, almost as bad as “baby mama”. The words imply ugly court battles, and tend to lead to even darker words like “dead beat” and “gold digger”. 

But if you think about it, it doesn’t have to be that way.

My cousin had a beautiful son with a woman 7 years ago. To be honest, I’m not totally sure what the relationship between my cousin and this woman was—friendly for sure, but I’m not sure what their commitment level was. Anyway, when his son was born he offered to give her $800 a month. He even gave her his car while he was serving in Iraq for a year. “She is taking care of our son everyday. I’m going to give her whatever I can afford,” he told me. I was shocked.

Why was this so shocking? Because of my own experience, and friends’ experiences, I believed child support had to be court ordered, and frankly, it was a fight between “My child needs/deserves this money in order to have a comfortable life” and “This chick is trying to rob me.”

Unfortunately, for many of us, that’s exactly what it is.

It all boils down to two things:

1) Fathers (or noncustodial mothers) need to understand the costs involved in raising a child, and respect the commitment and sacrifices mothers are making to raise their children. This understanding should lead to a looser grip on the wallet.

2) Mothers (or custodial fathers) need to stop abusing child support. Now, I don’t mean a mother should spend every penny on their child. Part of the cost of raising a child is maintaining yourself/your household (i.e. you need a printer to print your resume for a job). That being said, there are a good number of mothers who use child support for unnecessary purchases that aren’t for their kids. Those women are giving a lot of us a bad name.

While I don’t see these issues ever actually changing, I do wish people would consider the whole circumstance before making “dead beat” and “gold digger” judgements.

Filed under child support baby mama dead beat gold digger money single mother

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I don’t know what year this is from, but it’s funny how people still have the same idea about teen moms. She did her homework in parked cars? really?
Funny how there’s no mention of the dad.

I don’t know what year this is from, but it’s funny how people still have the same idea about teen moms. She did her homework in parked cars? really?

Funny how there’s no mention of the dad.

(Source: )

Filed under teen mom single mother baby mama

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The Problem with Baby Mamas

The problem with baby mamas is that they accept the label, and in turn mess things up for single mothers who have respect for themselves.

I think this is one of those labels like bitch or the n-word that’s only acceptable when it’s coming from someone very close to you and only when it’s clearly being used in a joking manner. But it seems like people use this label freely as if a single mother couldn’t possibly be offended by it.

This is an ongoing discussion but I really feel like this article did a great job of summing up my feelings on the issue.

Filed under baby mama ghetto single mother single mom